


Remembering

by Not_Your_Deers



Series: The Words That Bind Us [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 14:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20640440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_Your_Deers/pseuds/Not_Your_Deers
Summary: On one wrist is the name of your worst enemy, on the other is the name of your perfect match. Your nemesis and your soulmate. True love and pure hatred. But it’s impossible to tell which name is which. Some are born with the soulmate on their left wrist, and their nemesis on their right. For some it’s the other way. What could possibly go wrong with that?





	Remembering

**Author's Note:**

> Warning - Semi-graphic depiction of a panic attack.

Remus Lupin had a habit of remembering. He remembered teeth sunk into his flesh, and his parents’ screams, and the pain of transforming for the first time. He remembered tears, and loss, and fire, and pain. Always pain. Remus remembered the good things, too, but sometimes he really wished he could forget.

He doesn’t forget when he meets Sirius and James and Peter. He doesn’t forget when they discover his secret third year, either. He doesn’t think he wants to forget this time.

He didn’t mean to discover anything out of the ordinary that night - just looking for his Charms homework, which Peter had borrowed the day before. He certainly hadn’t meant to find Sirius, lying face down on the floor, shirtless. 

“Padfoot?” he asked, with a mixture of worry and amusement, “Are you alright?”

Sirius groaned vaguely in response before jumping almost out of his skin, suddenly realising who it was that waited in the doorway. He wrapped his arms around his chest, seeming more intent on hiding his wrists than his bare chest. The dark haired boy wasn’t fast enough, however, and Remus caught a glimpse of his wrists - they were pale, and white, and completely bare. 

“Sirius, I -” he said suddenly, unsure what he meant to say. 

Sirius’ eyes widened in understanding, and his arms relaxed down to his sides. He began to shake, and at first Remus thought he was laughing. But then his gentle tremors grew, until his entire body was shaking, and tears rolled down his cheeks. He dropped back down onto the floor. 

“You saw,” he managed to choke out, more a statement than a question.

Remus simply nodded, stepping forward hesitantly. Another sob shook Sirius’ body, and he forgot all his inhibitions, nearly running to his friend’s side. 

Slowly, the boy began to calm, his racing heartbeat slowing, and he rubbed the remaining tears from his eyes. Remus realised this was the first time he had seen his best friend cry. 

“I’m sorry, Sirius,” he said, “You don’t deserve that.”

Sirius looked at him, confused and scared. Clearly, that was not the reaction he had been expecting. 

“I don’t deserve it, Moony? I deserve everything I get, because I’m a horrible, filthy blood purist and I’ll never escape the Black family name.”

Despite his words, he seemed more defeated than frustrated. 

“No, you don’t,” Remus said, trying to push the anger from his voice, “you’re one of the best people I’ve ever met, and you do not deserve to die young.”

Sirius smiled, and then his expression dropped again, seemingly more miserable than he had been moments before.

“That’s - that’s not the only reason I was upset, Remus.”

The taller boy raised an eyebrow, unsure. Sirius continued.

“You have names on your wrist, don’t you?”

Remus nodded, and hesitantly pulled up his sleeves. On his left arm the name read:

** _Nymphadora Tonks _ **

On his right, the name read:

** _Fenrir Greyback_ **

He saw Sirius wince as he read the second name. He watched expectantly. 

“So this Nymphadora, she’s your soulmate?” Sirius asked quietly. 

Remus froze, suddenly understanding exactly why Sirius had been crying. He remembered at once a thousand small moments - a brush of their hands, a quiet laugh only he could hear, a sad smile when no one was watching. 

And then he realised why he had rushed to his friend’s side. Why he never lied to Sirius, or hurt him, why they understood each other like no one else could. 

“Sirius?” he said, voice determined. 

Sirius nodded.

“I don’t care,” he said, pushing aside his nerves before continuing, “I don’t care who my soulmate is. I don’t even believe in these ridiculous things. I know who I belong with, and it’s sure as hell not some random girl I’ve never met.”

“Who?” Sirius asked, voice somehow even quieter than before.

“You, you idiot, Padfoot,” Remus said.

He then proceeded to kiss the hell out of his best friend. 

Out everything that happened to Remus Lupin, that was one moment he would never regret remembering, no matter how much it hurt. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed, and comments are appreciated. 
> 
> \- The Slytherin


End file.
